WONDERFULLY DESCRIBED DEFINITIONS

*CIGARETTE:*

A pinch of tobacco
rolled in paper 
with fire at one end 
and a fool at the other!

*MARRIAGE:*
It's an agreement
wherein
a man loses his bachelor degree
and a woman gains her master

*LECTURE:*
An art of transmitting Information
from the notes of the lecturer
to the notes of students
without passing through the minds
of either

*CONFERENCE:*
The confusion of one man
multiplied by the
number present

*COMPROMISE:*
The art of dividing
a cake in such a way that
everybody believes
he got the biggest piece

*TEARS:*
The hydraulic force by which
masculine will power is
defeated by feminine water-power!

*DICTIONARY:*
A place where divorce comes
before marriage

*CONFERENCE ROOM:*
A place where everybody talks,
nobody listens
and everybody disagrees later on

*CLASSIC:*
A book
which people praise,
but never read

*SMILE:*
A curve
that can set
a lot of things straight!

*OFFICE:*
A place
where you can relax
after your strenuous
home life

*ETC:*
A sign
to make others believe
that you know
more than
you actually do

*COMMITTEE:*
Individuals
who can do
nothing individually
and sit to decide
that nothing can be done
together

*EXPERIENCE:*
The name
men give
to their
Mistakes

*ATOM BOMB:*
An invention
to bring an end
to all
inventions

*DIPLOMAT:*
A person
who tells you
to go to hell
in such a way
that you actually look forward
to the trip

*OPPORTUNIST:*
A person
who starts taking bath
if he
accidentally falls
into a river

*MISER:*
A person
who lives poor
so that
he can die RICH!

*FATHER:*
A banker
provided by
nature

*CRIMINAL:*
A guy
no different
from the other,
unless he gets caught

*BOSS:*
Someone
who is early
when you are late
and late
when you are early

*POLITICIAN:*
One who
shakes your hand
before elections
and your Confidence
Later

*DOCTOR:*
A person
who kills
your ills
by pills,
and kills you
by his bills!