"STRICTLY FOR MEN ONLY*

*When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.*

_~By Lee Majors

*After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.* 
_~By Al Gore

*By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
_~By Socrates

*Woman inspires us to great things and prevents us from achieving them.* 

_~By Mike Tyson

*The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?*
_~By George Clooney

*I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.* 
_~By Bill Clinton

*"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays."
_~By George W. Bush

*"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."* 
_~By Rudy Giuliani

*"I've had bad luck with all my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn’t.” The third gave me more children!*
_~By Donald Trump

*Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming*
*1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,*
*2. Whenever you're right, shut up.*
_~By Shaquille O’Neal

*The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.*
_~By Kobe Bryant

*You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.*
_~By David Hasselhoff

*My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
_~By Alec Baldwin

*A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
_~By Barack Obama

*Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.
_~By Tommy Lee

*A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
_~By Brad Pitt

*First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"*
*Second Guy : "You're lucky, mine's still alive."*
_~ By Jimmy Kimmel

*“First there is the promise ring, then the engagement ring, then the wedding ring...soon after....comes SuffeRing!*
_~By Jay Leno

*"The reason why wives live longer is because they don't have a Wife"
_~By Brandon Breezy