MODERN MAN SPECIAL-BY THE SHAVE UNION

A Modern Man’s Shaving Glossary.

Shaving is so much more than just putting blade to skin in an effort to style or remove hair.

You think about shaving every week, so you then naturally talk about it too. To build on that, we have compiled a modern man’s shaving glossary. Containing some basic terminology that everyone should know, and some lesser known ones that you can throw into conversation to make you sound a little more worldly.

In alphabetical order, here it is:

BBS:

A lovely acronym meaning Baby Butt Smooth. That brief moment when you are sporting such a clean shave your face resembles that of a smooth baby butt. Or when you are in that awkward late developer stage when your friends have started shaving and growing beards, but you are still BBS.

Boyzilian:

Yup, quite simply the male version of a Brazilian. This hairless ‘lifestyle choice’ is not for the feint-hearted though, and often the appearance one takes down below when their ‘down below’ appears on film, or under lights on stage. Or you simply find merit in taking BBS to the next level.

Brush:

An often forgotten item of the shave process, the brush creates a solid lather with your shaving cream or foam. So rather than just smearing the cream/foam onto your face from the canister, you brush it on nice and evenly. Nothing says you are an adult quite like owning a shaving brush.

Chin curtain:

This is when you have a beard that just covers the outline of your face, so nothing in the greater mustache area above the chin. It’s a unique look that is the early stage of an Amish beard. It is to be maintained though, as going Amish could send out the wrong message about yourself.

Cut throat:

The most badass shave of all, the literal taking of a knife like blade to the throat. Some say it is the ultimate display of trust, when one sits in the barber’s chair as their steady hand moves about your facial contours with this most dangerous of objects. A shave technique most popular with villains.

Cueball:

When you get into your 30s and have given up on the dream of maintaining any sort of hair on top, you conceded to the cueball. This is when you focus your razor above the ears, and go for the bald look. Many women say its sexy, and even more men believe it makes them look tougher.

DFS:

Another essential acronym quite simply meaning a Damn Fine Shave. We all have them, when you have a post shave rinse and can’t help but admire the handy work of a DFS. Those that insist on the cut throat believe they are always getting a DFS.

Dry shave:

It’s as rough as it sounds, the practice of shaving with no lubrication whatsoever. Often used as a cruel archaic schoolboy punishment for those that weren’t clean cut enough for their uniform, the dry shave should never be attempted, unless you are looking to bring tears to your eyes.

Exfoliate:

What all men should be doing but most don’t. With naturally thicker skin than women, men can benefit more from exfoliation. It removes dead skin cells, opens up the pores on the face, and generally makes your skin look better which will further enhance a DFS.

Faceturbate:

The process of excessively rubbing your face, usually after a DFS. The process of doing this with another man’s face is something completely different though.

Goatee:

The ‘junior beard’ if you will that gets its name from the pointed tuft of hair originally seen on goats. Though thought of as ‘cool’ by some, the goatee sends a message to the world that you are a selfish lover, someone with a short temper, and most alarmingly, still stuck in the 90s.

Grain:

Shave with it. It may be tough as facial hair can often be as uniform as a Lagos traffic jam, but to the best of your ability try and shave with the direction that the hair is growing in to avoid bumps and irritation.

Horse shoe mustache:

Living awkwardly somewhere between a mustache and a goatee, the horse shoe mustache is quite simply facial hair that takes the shape of a horse show. Thought of by the grower as something that will bring luck with the ladies, it ironically has the exact opposite effect.

Lamb chops:

Hugely popular in England in the 1970s, the lamb chops were sideburns that were grown out a bit to look like, well, lamb chops. This really isn’t the most cryptic of glossaries come to think of it. Cool if you lived in the 70s, or if you are Australian and have giant knives coming out of your hands.

Soul patch:

That is the little patch of hair that grows under your bottom lip. It is often forgotten about when part of a goatee or beard, but when showcased alone, it takes the name of a soul patch. Under no circumstances should ‘soul patches’ be grown above the top lip. This is asking for trouble.

Stubble:

If stubble was a stock, it would be something worth buying as it just seems to get cooler by the year. It develops after a clean shave, with many many actually using an electric razor of sorts to keep it at a certain length for that certain look.

Straight razor:

This is a single blade razor that usually folds back into itself, and what is used for a cut throat style shave. It was the original blade for regular shaving, but keeping one of these in your bathroom could look a little fierce, unless of course you are a skilled barber or fearsome hipster.

Strokes:

This is the movement of razor on face, and like this explanation, they need to be short.

Weeper:

At some stage in shaving you will get a little knick or cut. This unwanted drawing of blood is known as a ‘weeper’ and can be dealt with by applying a little bit of toilet paper, then some manly after shave lotion. But generally try and avoid them buy concentrating. We will be sure to update this piece of essentially shaving info as we go forward.